Lust in the Whole Body
She opened her eyes as she just woke up from a dream full off virtuous orgies. She looked around, as if she was still in the dream, and took a deep breath, smiling. Did she even realize she was smiling? Was she even aware of what she’s doing? Everyone was naked, even her. Everyone was clothed, but not her. Whatever others were wearing, she was still naked. Was she smiling or not? She was throwing provocative looks, looking like she was in her zone.
Alcohol was flowing through her veins, that was the only certainty for some moments. Alcohol was getting her from lows to highs, and from highs to lows. It didn’t wrap her around its finger, she wrapped herself around it, yearning for even more wraps so it could last for as long as possible. She loved when she could give herself to alcohol because it gave her courage, spontaneity, devotion, self-esteem, craziness, and self-centeredness. Like a hot beverage, it blissfully flew in her body and called: “It’s time!” She wanted everyone and everything, she desired all. Maybe even that which she feared and which she was scared of. That strong craving that led her through the darkness, after the black iceberg, she was no longer smiling.
Her bare feet became frostbitten, a coat of snow was forming on her naked body and at times, it was sinking all the way to the waters. Sometimes, black eagle flew in, and he pulled her out and then continued circling above her. Other times, a crow flew in, and tried to sink the poor one. Sometimes, she wandered in hope, sometimes the opposite. She did not grieve, all her actions were living laments, smiling in the corners, facing the wall. Like a cunning blackness, massaging their hands with a scythe. Was it true? Was it real?
Lost misérable, with unfulfilled love, looking for recourse and fulfillment in men who would comfort has sad soul in a powerful Prague. Finding solace in arms of men, finding balance and satisfaction. Thoughts were no longer racing through her head, she was calm. Like a potion of oblivion, it darkened her mind, however, did not quench her eternal thirst. It was a ruin and deceit of the dust laying in the corner. Did she suspect it or not? Or did she only anticipate it unwillingly ? Did she not wish to open her eyes? Fear, all around afflictive. It was most of her body, which she wished to offer to everyone who was passing by. Patheticness and blindness in silent breaths out of the corners. Lust flowing through her entire body, yearning for even biggest lust. Sexual apetite, not wishing to bottle it up, like a little girl in kindergarten, playing anything so the damned blackness in the corner could laugh even harder and harder. The wicked and nonsensical desire for gratification, vainly waiting for applause that would be false anyway.
She was in prison of sin, where touch after touch on her ungodly body, it would convince her even more about the false righteousness of her actions, mindset, and gratification. Roaming in dark depths underneath the icebergs, in futile world that is unable to see, not even hoping for a single flash that would free all. Yet still, in tacky luck walking around the world pouring poison in place of water. Breath after breath, everything was becoming silent. Everything that she could in good faith create and make true. Until in blind, loud and powerless form of her soul, she found the secret sent by Good for her immorality.
She would allow herself to be treated, commenced fighting the dark corner. She would appreciate her sight, craved to see more. However, only whilst tempting and battling her immoral lust.
Why was she not able to spot such vanity when it was right in front of her?
Wrote in 2010 A. K. Veliká